[ robin can feel when she touches his shoulder that he's shaking like a leaf.
what does he want to say...? the question makes him hiccup again, breath hitching, and he says in a tiny voice - ] ... That I... that... that I'm sorry I couldn't - that I couldn't wake up to protect her.
[ after he's been able to protect marina twice, once from the monster in the side rooms last week, and once again from erin, in the middle of trial, but when it mattered the most, there was nothing he could do to break the spell of this place to save her. it's irrational, and it's stupid, and he shakes his head, swallowing around the lump in his throat. ]
And that... [ another wet, miserable breath. ] ...And that I did - I would've... I wanted... I wanted it to bloom, that I - that I did. [ his voice cracks. ]
[ hearing this breaks her heart, and if he doesn't resist, she hugs him. ]
It is easy to feel regrets for what we wish we could change. To have the bud of something beautiful and not being able to make it bloom is one of the most difficult things to behold. I'm so sorry, Rondo. For you to lose someone you cared for so.
[ he doesn't resist at all - and even in this state, he still tries to make sure he doesn't put his entire weight into robin, because he is vaguely, distantly cognizant of the fact that he's like six feet tall and a lot of muscle. what a silly thing to be aware of. grief is a stupid, funny, awful emotion. instead of staying stiff or collapsing entirely, though, his hands drop away from his eyes, and he reaches, tentatively, to curl his fingers in the back of her clothes and hold there, a returned hug.
every week here gets worse. last week was like a sledgehammer, and this was just the follow up strike, the reminder that every single moment here is precious, and so easily lost.
rondo takes a deep breath, and manages, quietly: ] Th... thank you. [ because he's still polite, even like this, and shakes his head. ] Miss Robin, I...I really hate it here.
[ he really is so considerate even in all his grief. she has to collect herself for a second, take a small breath. it's hard to feel, it's harder to feel so much, and it's even more difficult to witness someone in so much emotional turmoil.
she hums an affirmative noise. ]
It's a horrible place to be, and we have to routinely suffer. The strongest protectors have the biggest hearts.
[ the strongest protectors have the biggest hearts. it's... it's hard to feel that way, right now - hard to feel strong. can't he will himself awake? is he always going to just be full of regrets? ]
I... I wish I could have protected her. [ just - just one more time. ] I wish I could have done something.
[ ooogh. his heart hurts. he swallows, thick around a lump in his throat, and nods. ]
That person... whoever hurt her, I - I doubt they wanted to. They... they must be suffering, too. So...
[ so, even though whoever it was stole something precious from rondo, from the entire village, they have to be found. they deserve a release from that. he still holds iwatooshi's discovery heavy in his heart from last week - the least they can do is make sure whoever is stuck with a monster is found. ]
[ alleviate the suffering. robin gets it. and he's not any less dedicated to doing so, despite - despite yet another week of just crippling loss. he's made of tough stuff, but two utterly devastating weeks in a row is a lot, and he just leans gratefully into her hold, closing his eyes. ]
That's... the hardest part about this place, I think, is how... how powerless I feel to stop things like this. I won't... I won't give up, but... [ the tears that had started to slow well up again, and he swallows, hard. ] ... She told me I made her feel safe. But... I couldn't help her.
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[ she reaches her hand out to gently place it on his shoulder. ]
What do you want to say? If you could say it?
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what does he want to say...? the question makes him hiccup again, breath hitching, and he says in a tiny voice - ] ... That I... that... that I'm sorry I couldn't - that I couldn't wake up to protect her.
[ after he's been able to protect marina twice, once from the monster in the side rooms last week, and once again from erin, in the middle of trial, but when it mattered the most, there was nothing he could do to break the spell of this place to save her. it's irrational, and it's stupid, and he shakes his head, swallowing around the lump in his throat. ]
And that... [ another wet, miserable breath. ] ...And that I did - I would've... I wanted... I wanted it to bloom, that I - that I did. [ his voice cracks. ]
I did like her. I liked her so much.
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It is easy to feel regrets for what we wish we could change. To have the bud of something beautiful and not being able to make it bloom is one of the most difficult things to behold. I'm so sorry, Rondo. For you to lose someone you cared for so.
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every week here gets worse. last week was like a sledgehammer, and this was just the follow up strike, the reminder that every single moment here is precious, and so easily lost.
rondo takes a deep breath, and manages, quietly: ] Th... thank you. [ because he's still polite, even like this, and shakes his head. ] Miss Robin, I...I really hate it here.
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she hums an affirmative noise. ]
It's a horrible place to be, and we have to routinely suffer. The strongest protectors have the biggest hearts.
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[ the strongest protectors have the biggest hearts. it's... it's hard to feel that way, right now - hard to feel strong. can't he will himself awake? is he always going to just be full of regrets? ]
I... I wish I could have protected her. [ just - just one more time. ] I wish I could have done something.
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[ ... ]
What you can do tomorrow may not be enough, and it may not be enough to soothe any grief, but it is something, as paltry as it is.
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That person... whoever hurt her, I - I doubt they wanted to. They... they must be suffering, too. So...
[ so, even though whoever it was stole something precious from rondo, from the entire village, they have to be found. they deserve a release from that. he still holds iwatooshi's discovery heavy in his heart from last week - the least they can do is make sure whoever is stuck with a monster is found. ]
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You are likely right, and that you remember it now speaks to your character. They'll appreciate it, your thought.
[ she wonders what will happen if there will be someone here who'd rather live, even afflicted. ]
We can hope to alleviate what suffering we can.
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[ alleviate the suffering. robin gets it. and he's not any less dedicated to doing so, despite - despite yet another week of just crippling loss. he's made of tough stuff, but two utterly devastating weeks in a row is a lot, and he just leans gratefully into her hold, closing his eyes. ]
That's... the hardest part about this place, I think, is how... how powerless I feel to stop things like this. I won't... I won't give up, but... [ the tears that had started to slow well up again, and he swallows, hard. ] ... She told me I made her feel safe. But... I couldn't help her.