karlach catchall

[sonorant]

i was not prepared for game start maybe there will be something here later

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[ablazement]

[she'll shift to make room for robin to lean, wrapping an arm around her if she wants. sorry if it's a little uncomfortable - she's running stupid hot today.]

I can try to look tomorrow. If you need the muscle.

[sonorant]

[ it's fine if she's running hot. robin loosely wraps her arms around karlach. she thinks they both need a hug. ]

... It may be needed. Both Caelus and I tried with no luck. [ ... ] It will never hurt less.

[ablazement]

[she will hug robin, hiding her face and trying not to burst into tears again. she's like, holding her breath.]

... Days like these are the ones where I can't convince myself things are going to get better.

[sonorant]

[ she closes her eyes and tries not to cry herself. she nods. ]

It is difficult to see through the darkness, especially when we have lost so many who cared so much. [ because all three who died were kind and caring in their own way, as bright or buoyant or awkward as they were. ] The loss is deep and it causes such a hollow, but I do not want to forget how much each of them wanted things to get better, too.

[ablazement]

[that's the worst part - she knows that aerith and iwatooshi in particular would've been doing their best to comfort people, and that cloud cared, in his own way. but they're not here. and the absence is felt keenly, like a hole in the chest.]

Can you hold it for a bit, then? [she says, quietly.] Hope, I mean. I can't, today. I'm tired.

[sonorant]

Of course. Rest as much you want today. I'll hold onto it for you. And for anyone else.

[ if she couldn't, she wouldn't forgive herself. ]

Cry as much as you want. We will grieve.

[ablazement]

[she hiccups, and then:]

I'll - I'll pull it together tomorrow.

[she says, reaching up to wipe her eyes.]

I'm not going to leave you alone with it.

[sonorant]

Karlach, you're not leaving me alone with it now.

[ robin smiles, but it's sad. it's very sad. ]

I think it's better if we all cry, but I think if I start now, I won't be able to stop for a while. Thank you for caring. Thank you for showing you care. Thank you for being here now.

[ablazement]

[a deep, shivery breath.]

... Of course. [unfortunately this just brings another bit of waterworks, which she makes a frustrated sound at.] I'm glad - I'm glad you're here.

You don't have to stop yourself for me, though. Promise. Makes me feel like a right jackass, getting my snot and tears all over.

[sonorant]

[ she shakes her head. ]

I'd rather your snot and tears than nothing at all.

[ she admits softly, after a moment: ]

It is more for myself than anything else.

[ablazement]

[a little huffy laugh at the first bit, but.]

You don't seem like the kind of person that ever has the time to feel safe enough to be sad, to me.

[sonorant]

[ she's silent for a while, as if turning those words over in her head. ]

I don't know if it's a matter of safety, but... maybe that's not so wrong when I'm too used to being in the public eye and too used to reporters waiting for a moment of weakness.

[ablazement]

That's safety. Doesn't have to be a physical danger.

[...]

Nobody's going to do that to you here. And if they do, tell me. I've got a mean right hook.

[this is a little bit of a joke, as she's trying to rally herself.]

[sonorant]

[ she laughs a little. ]

I'll come to you right away. No one has treated me like that so far, not even the ones who are from my cosmos. We may have to save your right hook for something else.

[ablazement]

Makes me feel good to hear that.

[that nobody has treated her poorly!]

You let me know. I'm happy to just follow directions for once.