... I get that too. [leaving people behind felt really fucking awful.] But you wrote me a whole letter on that, yeah? On me forgiving myself. Think you might want to try to apply some of that to yourself, even if it's hard.
[headtilt.]
I've gotten into it with Rondo a couple times here, because he keeps trying to forgive me for it and I'm not ready to take it yet. If that makes you feel better on not immediately being super okay with everything.
I know you didn't. This is me telling you I don't expect you to immediately go for it either, yeah? Time's the only thing that's going to make it easier, and people rushing us is nonsense.
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she nods at that, looking down at the materials.]
That's what I was thinking. You want to help put it together?
[it's not emotionshare week anymore but karlach is... very clearly concerned...]
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she looks fine? robin looks fine. she doesn't repress all her emotions so she's not 100%, but she seems fine enough. ]
Of course. Do we care if there are repeats? I don't know if that'd look like favoritism or not.
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I think as long as all of them are on there at least once it's nice? It's a sweet gesture, favoritism is a bad faith read.
... You settling in alright?
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You're right.
[ she just thinks envy isn't unnatural. she will start collecting pins of the living. ]
I'm adjusting more easily than expected. Everything here is... nicer overall.
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[she'll also start collecting, looking for good ones.]
Feels lighter, too.
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[ from dirt or affliction.
there is a pause before she just gets on with it. ]
Even if I wasn't myself, I am sorry for taking Mr. Astarion's life.
[ and even if they do need more people to die for plot purposes. ]
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[she says, with a little half-smile. it's tired, but mostly genuine.]
You brought him to me, I can't exactly be mad. It also wasn't you, but you know that. [...] Think it hurt you more than it hurt anybody else.
[astarion is fine he's a big boy]
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she manages a tiny smile. ]
If your reunion was sweet, that's what matters. [ ... ] It does hurt, but it feels a little selfish to admit it.
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I get that. [monster guilt...] You haven't got to feel selfish with me, though. We're in the same boat.
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she manages a small smile although there's something rueful about it. ]
We are, aren't we? It's both better to be here, but it also... it makes me feel like... I don't know. That I should have tried harder, somehow.
[ even if she knows that doesn't make sense and can't apply in this situation. ]
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... I get that too. [leaving people behind felt really fucking awful.] But you wrote me a whole letter on that, yeah? On me forgiving myself. Think you might want to try to apply some of that to yourself, even if it's hard.
[headtilt.]
I've gotten into it with Rondo a couple times here, because he keeps trying to forgive me for it and I'm not ready to take it yet. If that makes you feel better on not immediately being super okay with everything.
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she nods, after a moment. ]
... I know. I didn't expect you to... [ forgive yourself immediately. ] I only hoped you be open to it, and... maybe I will be, too.
We both need time. All of you have been very kind.
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[a little smile.]
You deserve kindness. You always will.
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I can't refute any of your words, and I don't wish to. Forgiveness may not be what we want right now, but a hand extended is more than enough.
[ she smiles a little, too. ]
Thank you, Karlach, for always being so kind.
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[soft.]
Let's finish these bags then, yeah?
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[ she nods and picks out the rest of the pins they need. ]
It'll be a nice memory for anyone.