[POINTS AT EYES POINTS AT YOU...... They are both so elegant.]
Unfortunately not. [The vibes are also a little sad. He glances around, though, and there's a little bit of something peaceful. But the Catholic Guilt is there, ever-haunting...]
That's why I enjoy it here. It's a good place to take a rest.
She is too nice, though. Catholics unite or something i guess. He just outs with it, even though this never gets any easier and he gets more tired every time.]
I killed Ichiban, the week before I became afflicted. It would feel too much like tricking you terribly to continue on speaking as normal without you knowing.
[ she closes her eyes, and there is understanding that washes over, as much as there is sadness. his catholic guilt makes much more sense now.
she does understand. she doesn't condone murder, really, but it's not as if she hasn't done or won't do some underhanded things for the sake of the people she loves. ]
I know you love her unconditionally and would do anything for her. It is not something for me to judge or to forgive. I only ask, is this something she would have wanted you to do for her?
Not at all. [His answer comes immediately, and his smile is small and soft and full of an aching sort of love.] Nadia is a tender-hearted girl... The idea of someone being harmed for her sake would hurt her very badly. It would be a terrible weight to carry. I do intend to tell her, if we survive... I don't wish to keep her in the dark any longer. But I know that both options are a cruelty in their own way.
[Either way, his actions will make Nadia suffer in some form, but he would unfortunately put Nadia through quite a bit to ensure her survival and health.]
I understand. I do not know if I could bring myself to take a life on my own, but... I will choose options that are selfish in a similar way.
[ her voice is soft, quiet in the way that belies her own aching sort of love. ]
After all, I am a large part of the reason why my brother is currently in danger, but I am also working to free him in ways I know he wouldn't want or approve of. I would not diminish your pains or actions by saying our situations are the same, but I do understand.
That you are aware and that you will speak with her... I think it is enough. The honesty may hurt, but it is a good thing.
[ it is something she can only encourage at this point of her life. ]
[Sometimes you're just a maniac for your sibling, even if it manifests in different flavors.
There's a small smile, still aching in its own way, a bit sorrowful in a new way.]
I'm sorry that you understand it. [That she knows the pain of letting go, but he still remembers those moments of falling in the dark together, and what she'd said about waking up with her brother gone. It's so, so hard to let go.]
...I hope that he's able to understand, too. [He'd like to think that Nadia will, even if she'll hate what he did. Even if he wishes she would hate him, too, a little bit.] In any case... My apologies for disturbing you with this so soon after everything you've been through. I'd rather not lie if I don't have to, though.
[Considering the only thing that kept him from confessing was living to retrieve the item. Plenty of other parts of that week were influenced by factors outside of his control, and he's come to the realization that he was certainly not in a clear state of mind, but he did ultimately still kill for his sister, and lied to see her once more.]
[ she didn't even want to let go, then. she didn't decide to be separated from sunday. it was a decision made for her when she couldn't have a say, as is too common in her life. ]
He will. He usually does. [ that doesn't mean sunday would like it or agree with it, but that's been much of their lives. they are so similar in so many ways, but there are core differences.
her smile turns more reassuring, less sorrowful. ]
I appreciate that you were willing to tell me. I won't excuse it, but I don't think less of you for it.
[ she just has to process it. so many of them are murderers here for one reason or another, and even if she doesn't think it was the best thing for him to do, she still understands it. ]
[Letting go against your will is even worse. He's seen how much lacking agency hurts people, and it's hurt him, too, so that's why he'll try if nothing else to make sure that Nadia isn't left alone in the dark.
There's a little smile in return, though.]
I'm glad for that, at least. [That he'll understand, if not agree or like it. And then:] ...It's the very least that I could do. Thank you for listening to me.
It's something you didn't have to do but chose to do. That says enough about your character.
[ even if he did wait until dying to be this honest. she thinks it still takes a certain kind of bravery.
anyway, this conversation has made me switch gears. THE FOG ROLLS IN or however the permamemshare mechanic iworks. lucas can see the thematic memory of penacony that gets repeated at least 3 times. (1:01:14-1:06:51)
[He is absolutely a Sunday to the surprise of no one, except he is learning bit by bit to value the autonomy other people have.
That said, he's just like GOD as the fog rolls in, but then he's just kind of struck into a bit of pensive silence by the conversation he experiences. What a question... And one with such starkly different answers, each with its own obvious flaws and equally obvious truths.
He's quiet for a second as the memory ends and the fog dissipates again, considering. The emotions are thoughtful and a bit sorrowful, with something a touch nostalgic.]
[ can't believe she has to fight lucas too on this philosophical battlefront
it's a memory that sits with robin, something she recalls often. it was such a foundational childhood experience that shapes how she is today. there is a stir in her emotions, a sense of nostalgia and self-reflection, a dip of sadness, rueful and bittersweet. ]
We kept and raised it, and right before I left home to travel the stars, we set it free.
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Oh, are we not able to take them out?
[ what if she, too, wants to adopt one... sad... but reasonable, she supposes. she will perch gracefully to match his elegantly.
she looks in the direction bird song seems to be coming from. ]
It is a pleasant atmosphere.
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Unfortunately not. [The vibes are also a little sad. He glances around, though, and there's a little bit of something peaceful. But the Catholic Guilt is there, ever-haunting...]
That's why I enjoy it here. It's a good place to take a rest.
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That's something I can agree with you on. I retreat to areas like this when I can take the moment to.
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I can understand why. [There's a little beat after that, though, where the Catholic Guilt just kind of grows for many reasons. Then:]
...I know that you're already dealing with quite a lot, but there's something I should like to speak with you about when you have a moment.
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she has noticed his guilt, but she doesn't try to pry unless she thinks it gets a little dire. she's catholic enough to understand. ]
It's all right. I am always willing to give you a moment.
[ she will always listen. ]
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She is too nice, though. Catholics unite or something i guess. He just outs with it, even though this never gets any easier and he gets more tired every time.]
I killed Ichiban, the week before I became afflicted. It would feel too much like tricking you terribly to continue on speaking as normal without you knowing.
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Before you were afflicted? Why?
[ more than jumping to any sudden conclusion, she wants to understand. ]
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Lucas just looks down toward his hands, quiet.]
...For the Vick's. [my favorite joke of the game, just lucas confessing to murdering for vick's vaporub.] For my sister.
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she does understand. she doesn't condone murder, really, but it's not as if she hasn't done or won't do some underhanded things for the sake of the people she loves. ]
I know you love her unconditionally and would do anything for her. It is not something for me to judge or to forgive. I only ask, is this something she would have wanted you to do for her?
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Not at all. [His answer comes immediately, and his smile is small and soft and full of an aching sort of love.] Nadia is a tender-hearted girl... The idea of someone being harmed for her sake would hurt her very badly. It would be a terrible weight to carry. I do intend to tell her, if we survive... I don't wish to keep her in the dark any longer. But I know that both options are a cruelty in their own way.
[Either way, his actions will make Nadia suffer in some form, but he would unfortunately put Nadia through quite a bit to ensure her survival and health.]
...In the end, I'm too selfish to let her go.
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[ her voice is soft, quiet in the way that belies her own aching sort of love. ]
After all, I am a large part of the reason why my brother is currently in danger, but I am also working to free him in ways I know he wouldn't want or approve of. I would not diminish your pains or actions by saying our situations are the same, but I do understand.
That you are aware and that you will speak with her... I think it is enough. The honesty may hurt, but it is a good thing.
[ it is something she can only encourage at this point of her life. ]
I know how difficult it is to let go.
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There's a small smile, still aching in its own way, a bit sorrowful in a new way.]
I'm sorry that you understand it. [That she knows the pain of letting go, but he still remembers those moments of falling in the dark together, and what she'd said about waking up with her brother gone. It's so, so hard to let go.]
...I hope that he's able to understand, too. [He'd like to think that Nadia will, even if she'll hate what he did. Even if he wishes she would hate him, too, a little bit.] In any case... My apologies for disturbing you with this so soon after everything you've been through. I'd rather not lie if I don't have to, though.
[Considering the only thing that kept him from confessing was living to retrieve the item. Plenty of other parts of that week were influenced by factors outside of his control, and he's come to the realization that he was certainly not in a clear state of mind, but he did ultimately still kill for his sister, and lied to see her once more.]
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He will. He usually does. [ that doesn't mean sunday would like it or agree with it, but that's been much of their lives. they are so similar in so many ways, but there are core differences.
her smile turns more reassuring, less sorrowful. ]
I appreciate that you were willing to tell me. I won't excuse it, but I don't think less of you for it.
[ she just has to process it. so many of them are murderers here for one reason or another, and even if she doesn't think it was the best thing for him to do, she still understands it. ]
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There's a little smile in return, though.]
I'm glad for that, at least. [That he'll understand, if not agree or like it. And then:] ...It's the very least that I could do. Thank you for listening to me.
[TO HIS HORRIBLE SERIAL KILLER CONFESSION.]
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[ even if he did wait until dying to be this honest. she thinks it still takes a certain kind of bravery.
anyway, this conversation has made me switch gears. THE FOG ROLLS IN or however the permamemshare mechanic iworks. lucas can see the thematic memory of penacony that gets repeated at least 3 times. (1:01:14-1:06:51)
are you a robin or are you a sunday, lucas ]
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That said, he's just like GOD as the fog rolls in, but then he's just kind of struck into a bit of pensive silence by the conversation he experiences. What a question... And one with such starkly different answers, each with its own obvious flaws and equally obvious truths.
He's quiet for a second as the memory ends and the fog dissipates again, considering. The emotions are thoughtful and a bit sorrowful, with something a touch nostalgic.]
...What happened to that bird?
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it's a memory that sits with robin, something she recalls often. it was such a foundational childhood experience that shapes how she is today. there is a stir in her emotions, a sense of nostalgia and self-reflection, a dip of sadness, rueful and bittersweet. ]
We kept and raised it, and right before I left home to travel the stars, we set it free.
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The rise and fall of the emotions catch his attention, though he's just quiet and observant as they come. A foundational experience...]
...I hope that it's able to live a full life.
[Or was, he doesn't know how long ago this happened or how long these birds live...]
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gives up give me a new thread tomorrow once he's less insane ]