Well. I would have liked to never set foot here at all. But, um...
[She drifts off. Looking away. Working through something thick and miserable, clogging up her throat and thoughts alike. Finally, she admits.]
Staying dead would have been easier. But then it's...I didn't see anything. It was nothing.
And now we're getting letters from them, and I'm wondering what the hell happened. Whether it's real and if they're all right. [Whether Karlach will be. Whether Daan will. She wants to heave. That wetness lining her remaining eye drips to a tear and she blinks fast to fight it. Wipes it off fast. Sorry. One word, and then he was gone.] I'd hoped...if I had to go somewhere after, it would at least be familiar.
I'm not religious. There's no magic where I come from, just wishful thinking. I didn't want to die. Just, living here. Coming back to this.
[ in a lot of ways, this isn't surprising to hear, but that doesn't make it hurt less to hear. she closes her eyes and nods to show she's listening and opens her eyes to respond. ]
A fair trade for what?
[ she wants to fully understand what camille means instead of assuming she knows what she meant. ]
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no subject
What did you want to happen? If you could have chosen?
[ instead of having both death and life sprung upon her? ]
no subject
Well. I would have liked to never set foot here at all. But, um...
[She drifts off. Looking away. Working through something thick and miserable, clogging up her throat and thoughts alike. Finally, she admits.]
Staying dead would have been easier. But then it's...I didn't see anything. It was nothing.
And now we're getting letters from them, and I'm wondering what the hell happened. Whether it's real and if they're all right. [Whether Karlach will be. Whether Daan will. She wants to heave. That wetness lining her remaining eye drips to a tear and she blinks fast to fight it. Wipes it off fast. Sorry. One word, and then he was gone.] I'd hoped...if I had to go somewhere after, it would at least be familiar.
I'm not religious. There's no magic where I come from, just wishful thinking. I didn't want to die. Just, living here. Coming back to this.
Sometimes it doesn't seem like a fair trade.
no subject
A fair trade for what?
[ she wants to fully understand what camille means instead of assuming she knows what she meant. ]