karlach catchall

[sonorant]

i was not prepared for game start maybe there will be something here later

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[ablazement]

[a little nod.

of course she didn't want it. she doesn't deserve it.]

Chased - chased him down like a fucking dog. And he. And.

[sonorant]

He wanted to forgive you.

[ her heart aches, watching karlach. ]

You do not want it, but he wanted to give it to you because you wouldn't. I don't know how much you'll want to hear how it wasn't you, but... don't his wishes also count for something?

[ablazement]

[isn't that how it always is, though? she reaches out over and over to everybody and she counts their wishes and she keeps them in her hands, and eventually she has too many, and no room for any of her. astarion told her it was going to kill her someday and she thinks - all of this, she thinks it in a manic stream of thoughts, choking on another giggle.]

Doesn't fucking matter if it was me or not. He's dead. I did it.

[sonorant]

[ that's why she should consider some of the wishes of others that include making room for herself, that she should be selfish every once in a while, but it's not as if robin can hear these thoughts.

if karlach is so focused on killing rondo, robin does think what he wants matters here, too. ]

What is it you want? What do you wish for? What do you think matters right now?

[ablazement]

[it is thoughtshare week, it's possible she could've heard some of that tbh

she stares at robin for a minute.]

I wanted to choose.

[sonorant]

I'm sorry your choice was taken from you. I'm sorry you weren't given that chance.

You should be able to choose for yourself.

[ablazement]

Haven't been able to choose for myself for ages. Ten years. Ten years in the Hells, as a solider, did you know? Did I tell you that?

[a little laugh.]

You're not sorry. Nobody is. If you were, you would've let Daan bleed me out when I asked.

[sonorant]

You didn't deserve any of that. You don't deserve any of this.

[ it does hurt to listen to all this. ]

Is that what you truly want? Do you want your light to go out?

[ablazement]

[her tail whips back and forth angrily.]

No. Of fucking course not. [she says, her voice breaking.] I want to live. I want to live at home, in the Gate, I want to go home.

[another laugh, but it sounds more like a sob.]

I don't care, here. Whatever. I'll be here until I kill someone again.

[sonorant]

[ she takes a small, steadying breath. i want to grant you that wish. but she knows she's powerless to. ]

I care that you're still here. I care enough to want to get you back to your home, and I care that you're hurting right now.

I don't... I don't have any way to make it better, but I'll be here until you don't want me to be.

[ robin doesn't have the heart to kill and revive someone. ]

[ablazement]

[these pcs have aged so poorly

anyway. silence, for a long moment, and then:]

You can stay. I like it when you stay.