trapped and trapped again is the feeling she gets from this. too tired and too trapped with the claws of grief that won't let go. the situation is worrying in a lot of ways. penacony is submerged in depression, but it's not that level of horror. ]
... You must be very tired of cults and sacrifices.
[ it does hurt to hear people say things like, to see their suffering, as quiet as it is. robin does so much to try to fend off and defy nihility as best as she can. she can't and doesn't want to force hope onto anyone. it's part of her struggle. ]
More than sympathy or pity, I want to try to give and have understanding. To find death in your home like that... I would lose hope, too, but you do have resilience. You may be enduring, but... I do appreciate that you are still going. I do appreciate that you have no wish to die.
[ He doesn't mean to be a nihilist but it's more... objectively, what can she do for him? Nothing she can do will give him the answers he's looking for. He's very tired. ]
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[ a shared experience like that.... terrible. ]
How did you escape?
[ also lowe WHERE IS MY MEMORY ]
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...I... don't. I'm sometimes not even sure I actually ever did, because I just... came here, instead.
[ Anyway it's kind of weird timing for it because it doesn't have to do with him 'escaping' the nightmare but she can have this memory. ]
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trapped and trapped again is the feeling she gets from this. too tired and too trapped with the claws of grief that won't let go. the situation is worrying in a lot of ways. penacony is submerged in depression, but it's not that level of horror. ]
... You must be very tired of cults and sacrifices.
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Kinda putting it lightly, to be honest...
But yeah.
[ Obviously no blame on her, it's just. Yeah. Boy, he is tired. ]
Not happy to be here for more reasons than the plain and obvious.
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[ she can't pretend to know when she doesn't. ]
What answers are you searching for?
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[ He's reasonable. ]
...
What that symbol means. Who it belongs to. Why the ritual... what goal it accomplishes.
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Not usually so extreme as to make multiple living sacrifices, but...
Well. It being so extreme is what's particularly outstanding about it to begin with, I suppose.
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{ ... ]
You don't have to answer, but your family.... were they also....?
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All occult. But if you mean blood-family, not as a sacrifice.
They left of their own volition.
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[ He's not the 'force yourself to move on' type of guy but it really has been a while. Complicated feelings will remain complicated. ]
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It still shapes your life and your history even if you have accepted it as much as you can. What of... your wife?
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In a... ritual circle, with that symbol...
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I'm so sorry. It must be why you're seeking out this cult.
[ or at least part of the reason why. ]
I hope you can find your answers soon, once we're out of all this.
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We'll see what happens.
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... Are you losing hope?
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Not that I'm trying to garner sympathy or pity with my nihilistic ideas...
But to be totally honest, that quest for answers is probably the only thing that got me out of that basement to begin with at all.
Just trucking along, seeing where I end up, I suppose. I don't have any intention to just fall over and die, at any rate.
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More than sympathy or pity, I want to try to give and have understanding. To find death in your home like that... I would lose hope, too, but you do have resilience. You may be enduring, but... I do appreciate that you are still going. I do appreciate that you have no wish to die.
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Just moving along and all. You don't need to understand it, really.
Tragedy, peculiar thing. If you can afford to live your life in light then I don't see why you shouldn't.
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If I don't understand, could I even profess to be helping? Everyone should have a little light in their life.
Whether you want it to reach you.... or whether you think it should... I understand that is a different issue.
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[ He doesn't mean to be a nihilist but it's more... objectively, what can she do for him? Nothing she can do will give him the answers he's looking for. He's very tired. ]
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I know there is not much I can do here, but... I do not know how not to try.
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As usual -- befits you and your personality.
Not even a bullet can stop you...
But I do think I'll have to advise against this one.
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Are you adamant in staying like this?
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